Vets Cup Final Preview: The Road to Roehampton

15 Apr 2016

For the fourth time in five years the OHAFC Veterans will travel to the Bank of England Ground in Roehampton on Sunday with silverware up for grabs.

Under the stewardship of John Wyn-Evans, the most successful OHAFC side of recent seasons once again find themselves ninety minutes away from lifting the Derrick Moore Veterans Cup. In their way stand Brentwood, the team who knocked Harrow out of the Cup last season with a heavy 7-3 defeat in Essex.

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Both sides have lived dangerously on the way to the final.

Round One:

Both sides received byes

Round Two:

Having both enjoyed first round byes, the second round saw Brentwood travel to neighbours Chigwell for an all-Essex affair. The game was scoreless at the break but Brentwood enjoyed the better of the second half and came through 2-0 winners.

The OHAFC were drawn at home to Malvern, a side they had not played in recent seasons. A poor first half saw the visitors lead 2-0 but they too responded well after the break and goals from Mark Baddeley and Dom Danos forced extra-time, something neither side really wanted.

Again Malvern went ahead, their long balls over the top causing the Harrow back four problems all day. But again the Harrovian spirit shone through, Lederman equalising with ten minutes to go before supplying the corner from which Paul Molloy headed home moments before the final whistle blew.

Semi-Finals:

The semi-finals saw both Harrow and Brentwood enjoy titanic victories over excellent opponents.

The OHAFC travelled to Eton and, despite being second best for much of the game, earn the narrowest of victories thanks to a superb strike from Dom Danos, who slid in to fire home an excellent cross from Harry Hoffen. 'Keeper Jon Ingram made several fine saves and Eton hit the bar as they threw everything at the visitors in the second half but the defence held firm to ensure a clean sheet and some form of revenge for the two Cup final defeats at Etonian hands in recent years.

Meanwhile Brentwood came through a superb encounter with Lancing that was only settled on penalties after the two sides had drawn 1-1 after 90 minutes and extra-time. The first ten spot-kicks were successful but the sixth Lancing penalty was missed and it was the Essex side who progressed to their first final of recent seasons.

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December 7th 2014 saw the OHAFC travel to Brentwood for a First Round meeting. The match was played in dreadful conditions with a heavy, muddy pitch and monsoon-like rains midway through the second half.

The hosts deservedly won through 7-3, with their football at times making light of the pitch they were playing on.

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John Wyn-Evans - like the Duracell Bunny, 'Pin' just keeps on going. Has skippered the side throughout their recent run of success, his ploy of holding onto his boots until the 'Golden Generation' eventually turned 35 reaping dividends. A tactical genius, his decision to take off Harry Hoffen in the 2013 Final after establishing an early 2-0 lead was hailed as a masterstroke. By the Old Etonians, who went on to win thanks to Tweddle's own goal.

Jon Ingram - the tallest player and therefore, as amateur football laws dictate, is either selected up front or in goal. Fortunately, Jon 'has a good touch for big man' when playing up front and 'gets down well for a big man' when playing in goal. Produced several vital saves in the semi-final win over Eton and in the previous round versus Malvern. In fact, given how dreadful the defence are, is forced to produce plenty of saves in most games.

Mark Baddeley - the oldest remaining player, 'Badds' doesn't look a year older than 58 - a pity, given that he's only 55. Makes the long trek up from Kent to play in most friendlies and should it all kick off on Sunday, is bound to be at the front of the queue for some 'afters'. Possesses a year-round sun tan so may at first appear to be playing for Brentwood.

Nick Warner - a real tennis professional and a real football amateur, Nick partners Badds at the centre of the defence, meaning the pair have a combined age over 100 years old - comforting to note. Nick has some odd traditions, turning up one minute before kick-off and wearing Spurs socks for every game among them. Hopefully will be told to revert to the correct playing attire by the match officials on Sunday (if he makes it in time for kick-off).

Phil Berry - the newest addition to the Vets lineup, Phil replaces Charlie Tweddle as the full-back of choice, capable of playing on either the left or the right, and also coincidentally takes Charlie's place as the shortest player in the squad. Produced a fine performance in the win over Malvern and held his own at Eton - which was fortunate because no-one else was going to hold it for him.

Ed Thorn - a lover of long country walks and Chiswick Tennis Club's 2015 Champion. Ed's tennis skills have undoubtedly come in handy on the football pitch - his throw-ins usually come with plenty of top spin and at half-time he will always take a seat and ask a nearby spectator for a glass of lemon barley water. Ed is another versatile performer, capable of playing at the back or in midfield and was part of the victorious Cup side of 2012.

Paul Molloy - the only man to rival Baddeley for the best suntan award, Molloy has lost none of the pace he had as a 25 year-old - which was very little. Still sits just in front of the back four spraying passes around like his kids spray their tea all over the kitchen walls. Is now forced to get special dispensation from his wife to play football, so make sure you say hello on Sunday, you may not see him again until 2019 (I'm joking Loo!)(I'm not really) Scored the last-gasp winner against Malvern in Round Two.

Quentin Baker - another whose appearances have been limited by his marital status and newly-arrived member of the family Sebastian, named either after his hero Seb Coe or the Prime Minister's gay aide in Little Britain. Quen has begun to wind down his physical exertions after years of football, running and cycling have taken their toll on his rather hairy body. This year he is just doing a few marathons, a couple of triathlons and six Tour de France stages. A week. Decided to score a hat-trick in the 2012 final after getting annoyed with everyone else missing their chances.

David Lederman - another fitness fanatic, Lederman is somehow still playing every Saturday and Sunday. Usually with his extensive Lego collection but sometimes he'll turn out for a game of football too. Has played more OHAFC Games than anyone in the last twenty years and, despite the launch of Bumble, Happn and Hinge (and 3nder) he shows little sign of finding a girlfriend and so will probably continue his football obsession until his legs give way or his cat needs more attention.

Jamie Waugh - the Black Sheep of the OHAFC Veterans family after an extraordinary lunchtime fiasco a few years ago: Jamie pooh-poohed his captain's offer of lunch on return from victory at Forest (where Jamie was named on the bench) and was persona non grata from then on. Was invited back to play at Eton but in a cunning ruse to gee him up before kick-off, was told he was sub only before a last-minute elevation to the starting eleven, by which time the dressing room floor was covered with his toys. Another versatile player, Jamie shares his initials with both Jackie Woolley and Johnny Williams so takes special care to hide his personalised jacket whenever one or both of them come to watch.

Charlie Feather - the most reliable player in the squad, along with Harry Hoffen. Both can be squarely relied upon to pull out of a game at a moment's notice with either an incredibly flimsy excuse or an even flimsier excuse. Failing that, both use the tried and tested 'switch the mobile to off so no-one knows I'm here' approach. Hoffen perfected it in the first round against Malvern. Feather may well follow suit on Sunday. Gave a fantastic speech at the Club dinner last year. Had his Hurlingham membership rescinded as a result.

Dom Danos - the hero of the semi-final at Eton, Dom popped up with a great strike to silence the crowd - mainly Mike Keenan, who was boring Fred Woolley with his holiday stories. Dom is another long-standing member of the side capable of playing all over the pitch. Usually paired with Harry Hoffen up front, the two couldn't be more different: Dom is painfully slow, Harry annoyingly quick; Dom is as reliable as a Swiss watch, Harry is as reliable as a Swiss banker; Dom regularly turns up, Harry regularly turns girls stomachs. Outside contender to be more tanned than Baddeley or Molloy on Sunday.

Rupert Hoffen - the side's property expert (he cuts his own lawn) has timed his return from injury to perfection, missing vast swathes of the season before miraculously claiming he could 'manage a brief run-out' in the semi-final before declaring himself absolutely fine for the final in true Jack Wilshere fashion. Rupert is a member. Sorry, Rupert is a member of several OH societies but recently missed the inaugural meeting of the Byronics despite accepting their generous invitation. Loves making friends with the ref before the game then showering him with abuse during it. Then just showers with him afterwards.

Bobby Tindall - included in the squad out of sympathy and in these profiles out of a minimum word restriction, Bobby is another versatile performer, equally useless in a number of positions. Cricket is his real sport, he once dismissed Viv Richards but you'd be hard-pressed to hear about it, he never, ever tells people... Loves aubergines.

Andy Butler - the OHAFC Latin expert, Andy has yet to lace up his boots this season, quite possibly because he can't reach down far enough. Andy handles all legal issues for the Club, his speciality being 'reinstatement of three previously deducted points in the event they are needed to avoid relegation.' Bound to bring a picnic of some kind on Sunday, so make friends with him early and you may get a sausage roll. If there's any left.

Harry Hoffen - sadly missing the final due to work. A phrase no-one ever thought they would offer about the Club's leading striker of the last twenty years. This weekend, instead of turning out for the Vets, Harry is being filmed doing some odd jobs in a house up north for Channel Five. It is unclear exactly what the programme is going to be called, but it is thought to be similar to the time a load of monkeys were filmed using tools for the first time. Harry has at least saved Channel Five some money, since filming they have discovered they can transmit the footage back to London via his forehead, saving the need for a dedicated satellite link-up.

Tim Dalton - legendary defender last seen around the time the BBC still had a meaningful sports department. Timmy D has never featured for the vets before so his offer to be included in the Final squad is a timely boost for the team. Stated he hasn't played for five years, but is still likely to be the fittest, quickest, strongest player on the pitch. Oh, and probably the best too.

The Derrick Moore Veterans Cup Final will take place at the Bank of England Ground, Roehampton at 2pm on Sunday afternoon.

All support welcome!