OHAFC President Andy Butler delved deeply into his wallet to summon up the £64.12p required to keep twenty-five or so OHAFC players (plus one wife, Camilla Pritchard, who had mistakenly found herself in the same pub at the same time) happy on Saturday night and declared the annual drinks night a great success before hurriedly waving everyone out of the exits before they could add any further to the bill.

The third edition of President's Drinks was held in the upstairs room of the Bolton Pub in Earls Court and attracted players from all three Saturday squads, including the three captains and social secretary Alec Fogarty, who had personally selected the exotic buffet menu of calamari, scotch eggs and a salad with orange and purple stuff in but disappointingly eschewed the mini kievs option. 'Schoolboy error,' commented Woolley as he made his way back for some more of the odd salad he had rather taken a fancy to.

1st XI skipper Ed Poulter (34) did his best to up the bar tab early on, ordering double vodkas at an alarming rate, but ever-mindful of the fact that he needed to be relatively sober later in the evening to attend to the needs of his student girlfriend Millie. He had thoughtfully packed a Capri-Sun and packet of Jaffa Cakes for her midnight snack and a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer and can of Lilt for himself for the train journey down to Eastbourne. 'It's going to be a good Saturday night' he thought to himself as he pretended to listen to Butler recount the tale of the first time he ever met referee John Greenwood and had mistaken him for a pizza delivery driver.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the bar, Arthurian League kingpin Matt Barry settled in for the duration, engaging anyone who was unfortunate enough to pause even momentarily in his vicinity about recent exciting developments on the League disciplinary committee and the stunning news that Chigwell 3's had been placed on a watch-list for providing slightly stale sandwiches at tea.

Jaguar Bajwa, recovering from his fractured knee joint suffered in the 1st XI loss at Aldenham, put in an appearance and seemed to be moving well enough, the crutches clearly an unnecessary prop to try and gain sympathy from those present.

After a while, Lord Butler addressed the throng and made a series of excuses as to why he had failed to watch a single OHAFC game in the last three years but his pleas for understanding fell on deaf ears with the likes of Gilbert, Magrath and Hill already heading for the exit to make sure they were sufficiently geared up for the big fight. 'Seventeen pounds to watch Tyson Fury box?' asked an incredulous Butler. 'In my day that would buy you a ringside seat, a cushion and a fish supper and you'd still have change left for a trip to the pictures with your missus...'

'I'd rather have mini-kievs than fish,' said Woolley in an overly-aggressive manner, momentarily allowing his extra spicy non-alcoholic bloody mary to get the better of him.

It was time to go home.