Following Sunday's gut-wrenching last-minute defeat at home to Witan Old Boys, the OHAFC Veterans have moved swiftly to counter any talk of crisis with the appointment of an experienced assistant to aid skipper John Wyn-Evans.

OHAFC.com can exclusively reveal that secret negotiations have been going on for some time between the club and Dutch legend Ronald Koeman. Once Koeman's departure from Everton was announced on Monday, Wyn-Evans immediately flew to Portugal to conclude negotiations and the pair shook hands on a two-year deal that sees the European Cup winner back in football less than a week after his exit from Goodison Park.

Wyn-Evans was all smiles as he emerged from Koeman's palatial villa in the Algarve: 'What a great barbecue that wash!' he beamed. 'Theesh Dutch really know how to handle a grill.' It wasn't entirely clear whether the Vets skipper had consumed a few too many cans of Amstel or whether he was putting on his best Schteve McLaren accent.

Koeman, meanwhile, could barely contain his delight at the prospect of working with players such as Charlie 'why don't we play foot golf instead?' Tweddle and Rupert 'I've got to go after eight minutes this week, my mother-in-law needs picking up from the hairdressers before lunch' Hoffen.

'I don't know who you are or why you are here,' he told a rather sweaty Harry Woolley, who had camped outside overnight waiting for confirmation of the signing. 'Anyway, take this sun cream, I think you will need it no?'

Koeman's record in football bears comparison with the greats of the game. As a player he won the European Cup with Barcelona, scoring the winning goal at Wembley against Sampdoria in 1992, having already helped his country to European Championships success four years earlier. Perhaps his biggest impact on the English game came in 1993, when he clipped in a perfect free-kick to help the Dutch send England out of qualification for USA '94.

The Dutchman is expected to take his first training session alongside Wyn-Evans as soon as he has a proper OHAFC tracksuit with his initials on. Latest estimates suggest this could be sometime in February 2018.