Ed Thorn and Jeremy Lloyd-Jones were involved in an hour-long Mexican stand-off last night after a row over who should go up to collect the Derrick Moore Veterans Cup at the Arthurian League dinner.

With Thorn playing in every match during the season, many observers felt the glittering prize was his to claim. But at the last moment, Lloyd-Jones seized on a momentary hesitation and nipped in to gleefully shake the hand of hired speaker David Mellor (ex-Tory MP, 606 presenter and love-maker whilst wearing Chelsea shirts) and collect the trophy.

On returning to the table, he was met with an icy stare from Thorn, who refused to join in the 'banter' as the trophy made it's way around the table for the traditional winners snaps.

Even as coffee and Bendicks mints were served, Thorn pointedly refused to acknowledge Lloyd-Jones passing him the milk and deliberately dropped two brown sugar cubes from a great height so as to create a large splash, endagering LJ's light wool suit.

Exasperated dinner newbie Jack Orr-Ewing was stunned by the whole affair, whispering to his fellow diners 'I'm stunned by the whole affair'.

Later, in an unnamed 'adult entertainment venue', Defty, Brunt and Lederman discussed the whole affair with a vareity of 'stunnas', although guaging a reaction was tricky, with many of the young ladies only managing to respond with 'I like you. You wanna sexy dance time baby?'

Club Chairman Andrew Butler is 47 next month.