Old Epsomians 4 OHAFC II 1

The week leading up to the 2s' penultimate League fixture this season was nothing more and nothing less than a titanic struggle. The OHAFC skippers suffered a perfect storm of the League insisting that the club field three teams on a weekend when the lure of the England vs Wales game at Twickenham and of skiing meant that gathering enough Harrovians was not dissimilar to herding 33 well educated but hapless (and in some cases prima donnaesque) cats.

In the 2s’ case, having yielded Phil Berry to the title chasing 1s, the side was left with 10 players, plus a very injured Harry Woolley and Edmund Massey who had offered, in typically enthusiastic fashion, to uber straight from Gatwick Airport to Deckers Sports ground. When Massey confirmed that he was still stuck in Grenoble 20 minutes before kick off, Woolley, who had been unusually quiet from the moment he learned that his conversion from spectator to goalkeeper might be upgraded yet further to outfield player, resigned himself to a full 90.

Before kick off the skipper began by explaining that Woolley hadn’t kicked a ball in 6 months, and would in fact prefer not to be kicking anything today due to his chronic shin splints, but that he would heroically be stepping in as the 11th man in Massey’s absence. He would be playing in the hole behind Sanders, who would be playing up top, with two banks of four in behind. The team was urged to adopt a no nonsense approach at the back with the bobbly slippery pitch not allowing for passing moves from deep, and to press Epsom defenders, given that approach’s success in the corresponding home fixture.

Woolley, now fully kitted up and wearing a splendid pair of black leggings, revved himself as Epsom kicked off and roared into a medium pace walk towards Epsom midfielder ‘Felipe’. As the ball soared into the air Woolley realised that, if he wasn’t careful, he was about to enter a crunching 50:50. He duly relaxed his pace to a slow amble just in time to avoid the lanky Spaniard-come-Mexican-come-Colombian who shouted his first of many ‘Caman camaaaan’s. Nevertheless, in spite of his inability to run, Woolley actually enjoyed an impressive opening 15 minutes – receiving and releasing the ball neatly and swiftly.

Epsom got their first goal from a pull back on the edge of the Harrow box; their right winger clipping a cross into the box only to see it sail over McHardy’s outstretched hands and into the far top corner. As would be the case throughout the encounter, however, Harrow did not let conceding dampen their resolve and raced back to the centre circle to restart.

During the first period Harrow’s admirably good spirits were lifted on several occasions by the total inability of Epsom’s right winger to control Felipe’s fizzing cross field balls – the mishaps being followed by yet further irate cries of ‘Caman camaaaan’ from the Iberian playmaker.

Epsom’s second came from the penalty spot. A loose ball finding its way to their forward who got clattered by McHardy after touching it past him in a scramble on the left hand side of the six yard box. ‘Felipe’ passed the ball into the goal to make it two nil. ‘Camaaaaan’ he shouted, to show off the full range of his impressive and far reaching mastery of English vocabulary.

The game was fairly even during this period, in spite of the score line, with Sanders causing the Epsom defence problems with his pace and determination to chase long balls, while Taunton-Collins delivered a series of dangerous corners and crosses – and it was the Harrow skipper who scored next. The ball was played into the Epsom box, leading to an inevitable wacky races scramble as defenders and forwards alike slipped and slid chasing after it. Tom Bell cried foul having spotted an errant Epsom arm poke out of the melee towards the ball, and Ron Large responded to Bell’s observation by delighted gesticulated to the spot for his second penalty of the afternoon. Taunton-Collins stepped up and sent the ball low to the keeper’s left, with the stopper diving the wrong way. 2-1.

Epsom’s third was undoubtedly the best goal of the afternoon. Again a loose ball on the edge of the area finding its way to an Epsom midfielder who did very well to meet the ball cleanly on the volley under Harrow pressure, and send it riffling to McHardy’s left.

Ron Large displayed hawk like alertness to two types of foul play in particular- potential penalties (awarding three in total) and cries of ‘leave it’, ‘I’ve got’, ‘yup’, ‘mine’, and ‘mine mine mine’. On several occasions Epsom were chastised for not shouting their own names instead, to their immense and ironically very audible frustration.

The second half was a more one sided affair with Harrow’s fit 10 tiring and falling deeper and deeper into their own half. Epsom dominated possession and created a series of chances though few of them clear cut. This paucity of goal scoring opportunities was down to a good display by the back five, but in particular by Doug Pratt who enjoyed an impressive first start for OHAFC by heading, clearing and tackling with determination and bravery. Barwick and Hovey worked tirelessly throughout, closing down Epsomian defenders and midfielders with endless enthusiasm. Tom Bell enjoyed a good outing too, an evidently talented and ‘heads up’ footballer who would be a welcome regular addition to the side were his availability better. Will Orr-Ewing put in a typically solid display, and Gordon was robust too, though never quite adjusted to the surface. His regular bambi-like skids drawing a great deal of appreciation from the three Epsom subs. He would later reveal that a tractor had ploughed his corner of the pitch, and only his corner, and on both sides of the pitch…

Epsom’s final goal came from a spot kick. Ron Large gleefully seizing the opportunity to gesticulate wildly toward the penalty spot once more when an Epsom player was caught by an unfortunate Pratt. Felipe stepped up again, and drilled it left this time. No prizes for guessing how he celebrated.

Harrow finished the game well aware that they had been outplayed, but equally well aware that at no stage had they given up on an afternoon when many made of less stern stuff would have, and that their prospects going into their last league fixture and next season look unambiguously rosy.

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